it was hot in there!

My insides hurt ;D

I find that electronica and/or techno and/or industrial really help me get my work done. Work as in revising all of the fiction pieces I have done for my class. And if there is one thing that isn't appealing to me, it is re-visiting pieces I have already written. I hate doing more work on a piece I thought I've finished, especially since I consider my work next to Godlike. duh

Speaking of God I send my prayers and hopes that He assists with me finding a new job. A good new job. One that I will really enjoy. And not feel uncomfortable or pressured or stressed at. IS that even possible? And then of course one that I will make enough money so that I can move out. Because I am so so ready. I have my resume for restaurants done. I almost don't want to do waitressing but I can't think of another good paying job in particular.

geez I can't even think of things to make my own journal entries interesting. I am completely devoid of inspiration and creativity. I need to make ONE more really good story, the final ten page story. I have rejected two started ideas already. I want something to do with a witch, and maybe a demon again. Because demons are totally my new fun.

trouble in paradise

I am very...exhausted. And sad. Everything is ok, now, but I still live the after affects. I can't decide if this choked throat is boarderline tears or borderline relief. I found out that it isn't as easy to talk as I thought it was. I found out that it isn't as fierce as I thought it was. But I hope I am proven wrong. World: bring me some small distractions and summon tomorrow to come quicker. Tomorrow is all I desire for, now. And with it, even more relief, and is it too much to ask for a rekindling? At least to discover perhaps what was always there, and the prayer that I am all wrong.

scattered thought

I found a new website that is pretty cool muxtape.com
The homepage changes every ten minutes or so so you're always able to choose from thousands of new playlists people put together, usually composed of 12 songs. There is a lot of slow indie bullshit but some people have good taste or I come upon one random song that I like a lot.

I haven't had much inspiration or creativity going through me...I want to continue writing about Richard John Brown [my antlered man] but also want to try out something new...can't seem to come up with anything though. I also haven't had time to read my Book of Joby, just write write write different papers and essays.

I know I have to get a job soon, but I like not working. I have so much free time to do what IIIIII want. Also I can actually go out and enjoy the nice fucking weather we finally got, up here in the Pacific Northwest. Back at the club I'd be listlessly watching the windows, inside, serving a bunch of fat old snobs. *sigh* I am actually very glad I'm gone from there.

But I have some plans: I want to try living independently. Well, with a roommate (it's all planned between us), but away from my parents I mean. As soon as I get a job, which will probably be within the next 2 or 3 weeks, I'll start looking for a cheap 2 bedroom apartment. I would say one even, since wouldn't mind the lack of personal space, but when my guy comes over....that might be a little awkward haha. So if I'm not ready for the bills and the money coordination and whatnot, I can always move back in and get ready for next time (before they leave for Arizona).

wants

I want a penpal. Like the snailmail type.
I promise I would make every letter intruiging and artistic.
One will be bursting with anticipation to check their mailbox everyday just to see one of my beautifully decorated envelopes.
anyone? anyone?


please?

I've got some time to kill since the class I'm observing is in "small group mode" and it doesn't really pertain to me. So I'll dink around with some of the ideas in my head...

First assignment for the undertaking of my project: read some good collections of short stories and decide what the elements are that make it so swell. It seems that the limited amount of these petite literary projects mostly pertain to everyday happens in the average joe's life. My short stories are about demons and such. Question: is there anything wrong with that?

I just realized my typing skills are atrocious and slow. Besides the point that this keyboard is related to a dinosaur.

Will this pertain to me?

I should probably just make a Zine before I try and put out this project. A zine has also been a secret wish for me. The nice balance between art and writing.

Hiking tomorrow! Slowly the weather is become more appropriatly spring-like. Blue skies shunshine and warmer weather. Tonight I'll be doing absolutely nothing with the one person who I love doing absolutely nothing with. Maybe there will be food involved. I love food. I'm hungry =(

proyekt

I'm a little tired, and seem to have a mini headache, which makes me a little less enthusiastic than usual when it comes to what I am about to say. I've been musing about this on and off for a while. But I have set a new and difficult goal for myself this spring and summer. I have recently been enrolled in a couple of writing classes, which allowed me to go back to what I have always loved using my imagination for, since I was even able to write. As any writer, one always has at least small fleeting dreams of someday writing a book or novel. With my new writing classes I have been introduced not only to the art of writing short stories, but also to some very great books of collection of short stories. So I plan on putting together a collection of written stories, both fictional and non fiction. It'll be a rough eclectic product. I also want to include some little illustrations that I have done. I imagine it'll be a favorite for Portland citizens and indie literature entrepreneur around the world favorite!

I've got a couple of pieces, very strange ones indeed, that need to be polish-up before they can be added. As a matter of fact it'll be a very strange collection indeed. Demons and immortals and antlered business men and whatnot. I even have a couple of great sounding titles! But maybe I should work on the content before I come up with a title.

wish me luck, updates will be erratic