Polish Festival is this weekend! I went last night with my parents and met Shannon there. A lot of people showed up despite the weather. All the previous years it's been on a hot hot weekend, but here in the Pacific Northwest our summer's already ended. I definitely don't mind the rain, but perhaps some sun a little longer? But everyone knows my favorite weather is blue skies and bright sun, but frosty temperatures. Creates a good atmosphere for walks with hot chocolate.
I was able to see some friends from High School this weekend. People I haven't hung out with in a while, or haven't even seen for a year and a half. People who haven't changed necessarily in style or physical attributes, but a change in the way they talk, perhaps, or who they choose to hang out with, or who their boyfriend/girlfriend is. These sorts of things are amusing since it's usually seeing very proper "good" people use more profanity than I do. Interesting times.
I love Sundays. I love finishing up homework and then having time to pretty much just lie around and read. Maybe go on the computer. Mostly just lie around. Except I haven't finished my hw yet so it isn't as blissful as it should be.
One of the best foods in life: macaroni & cheese [from a box]. I used to hate that stuff. Also: delicious fruit Italian sodas from Target. Nothing of substance. I guess the philosophical mood hasn't hit me just yet. Except it might be true. That single guys and single girls can't be just friends. Because sometimes that would be nice. But other times it's better how it is anyway.
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Friday, September 28, 2007
survival
Well I made it through the first week of school. I awake at 6:30/7:30, go to school at 8/9, and am done by eleven. It goes by really quickly, leaving me with lots of free time. Time for homework and some small work hours. Time for walks and getting lost. Um, I put out a lot of resumes and applications on wednesday. Peet's Coffee is promising, as they had a job fair and on-the-spot-interviews. I think I impressed her with my awesomeness.
But I don't feel so awesome right now...so maybe I will blog later =/
But I don't feel so awesome right now...so maybe I will blog later =/
Sunday, September 23, 2007
this is the end
Oh how bittersweet, this feeling of end. This conclusion of time and emotion, and the start of a new era. The beginning of stress, and learning... and distance.
I'm talking about the last day of summer, because tomorrow is the first day of fall quarter! And I feel like an appropriate summary should be made. So I'll will myself to do. I'm such a passionate person, I feel so much emotion [most of it so so bittersweet it almost overwhelms me] about events that shouldn't be felt much about at all. Looking back is both satisfying and frightening...at how quickly it went by.
The beginning of summer seems so far away, almost like a blur. I remember the relief I felt from all the stress of school, of finals and my new plans for the rest of my life. I decided to give up a major in Chemistry, and no longer be a pharmacist, but rather, an English professor. I remember making plans with friends, about going hiking with Deanne, or camping with my boyfriend Dan. I remember the thought of three months of freedom. Of working hard and saving money, of late night drinks and nature walks. God, I could start all over again, I want another three months of freedom, I'm still not ready for school.
But my daydream has to end sometime. I've got to fall from the sky and land in reality sometime. I took a week to go to California, and that was definitely a good experience. It reminded me of who I am. That I love my family, that I love rock music and being tough. It reminded me that I don't need to be dragged down by people of no vision, no hope. And it reminded me of how I am pretty, and desireable, how I shouldn't be afraid of rejection, when what is objectionable is not always obvious. In short, my brother helped me out a lot.
Not two weeks later I broke up with Dan. We had dated for sixteen months. Much longer than either of us thought. He had plans for us, to live together, to drink together. And that was it. I .......I never had plans for us. From the beginning, the first kiss and the ultimate attraction, I never thought to the future, but the now. At least with him. I knew that it wouldn't be a lasting one but one based on fun. Maybe that's why it didn't work out. But I thank God it didn't.
It was the second time we broke up [we got back together two weeks later the first time], but I knew it would be the final time. I didn't want to hurt him. But I didn't want to be hurting. See pure lonliness drove me back, not because I still loved him, but the fact of going from having someone to always lean on, to not having anyone at all...that was complete lonliness.
It was fate itself that I started hanging out with Anthony from work the exact day after I ended my relationship. I hadn't hung out with a male friend in sixteen months. It was new. It was exciting. And it definitely helped build me up. Build up my confidence and my people skills and my true personality. As a friend, he helped me get away from lonliness.
The Second part, as I like to call it, was both an awesome and trying summer time. I worked a lot, which I loved, and played a lot. I went to a many concerts, I watched a lot of Avatar =D, I cried some, but only once. And there's no need to say how much I drank. Because before, going to the same damn house with the same fucking gross beer [Coors lite] was too boring. Not to say that many of the times I refused to go to Dan was because I was honestly too tired from work, and just had more hours in the morning. But with my new friend, it was always about what I wanted, and even now I feel like a spoiled little girl. It's been too long since I've felt like that.
And then came the empty weekend, when I had planned on going to rod run, but instead was immensely bored, those four days off of work, only too ready to go back to my job. I soon find that I have three weeks of little to no hours. The club is slow, and there's almost a certain agenda against me, my poor work skills [thus the training], the little hints that I should move on.
Most details left out it was both a slow and a good summer. Slow in the beginning, but good at the end. I can honestly say it was ended in the best way, and that last night was probably the best good night kiss I've ever had.
So bring on school and stress, and hopefully, love.
I'm talking about the last day of summer, because tomorrow is the first day of fall quarter! And I feel like an appropriate summary should be made. So I'll will myself to do. I'm such a passionate person, I feel so much emotion [most of it so so bittersweet it almost overwhelms me] about events that shouldn't be felt much about at all. Looking back is both satisfying and frightening...at how quickly it went by.
The beginning of summer seems so far away, almost like a blur. I remember the relief I felt from all the stress of school, of finals and my new plans for the rest of my life. I decided to give up a major in Chemistry, and no longer be a pharmacist, but rather, an English professor. I remember making plans with friends, about going hiking with Deanne, or camping with my boyfriend Dan. I remember the thought of three months of freedom. Of working hard and saving money, of late night drinks and nature walks. God, I could start all over again, I want another three months of freedom, I'm still not ready for school.
But my daydream has to end sometime. I've got to fall from the sky and land in reality sometime. I took a week to go to California, and that was definitely a good experience. It reminded me of who I am. That I love my family, that I love rock music and being tough. It reminded me that I don't need to be dragged down by people of no vision, no hope. And it reminded me of how I am pretty, and desireable, how I shouldn't be afraid of rejection, when what is objectionable is not always obvious. In short, my brother helped me out a lot.
Not two weeks later I broke up with Dan. We had dated for sixteen months. Much longer than either of us thought. He had plans for us, to live together, to drink together. And that was it. I .......I never had plans for us. From the beginning, the first kiss and the ultimate attraction, I never thought to the future, but the now. At least with him. I knew that it wouldn't be a lasting one but one based on fun. Maybe that's why it didn't work out. But I thank God it didn't.
It was the second time we broke up [we got back together two weeks later the first time], but I knew it would be the final time. I didn't want to hurt him. But I didn't want to be hurting. See pure lonliness drove me back, not because I still loved him, but the fact of going from having someone to always lean on, to not having anyone at all...that was complete lonliness.
It was fate itself that I started hanging out with Anthony from work the exact day after I ended my relationship. I hadn't hung out with a male friend in sixteen months. It was new. It was exciting. And it definitely helped build me up. Build up my confidence and my people skills and my true personality. As a friend, he helped me get away from lonliness.
The Second part, as I like to call it, was both an awesome and trying summer time. I worked a lot, which I loved, and played a lot. I went to a many concerts, I watched a lot of Avatar =D, I cried some, but only once. And there's no need to say how much I drank. Because before, going to the same damn house with the same fucking gross beer [Coors lite] was too boring. Not to say that many of the times I refused to go to Dan was because I was honestly too tired from work, and just had more hours in the morning. But with my new friend, it was always about what I wanted, and even now I feel like a spoiled little girl. It's been too long since I've felt like that.
And then came the empty weekend, when I had planned on going to rod run, but instead was immensely bored, those four days off of work, only too ready to go back to my job. I soon find that I have three weeks of little to no hours. The club is slow, and there's almost a certain agenda against me, my poor work skills [thus the training], the little hints that I should move on.
Most details left out it was both a slow and a good summer. Slow in the beginning, but good at the end. I can honestly say it was ended in the best way, and that last night was probably the best good night kiss I've ever had.
So bring on school and stress, and hopefully, love.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
twelve levels of camping
I went camping last night, at Sunset Falls. Washington is so absolutely beautiful. Pretty easy drive, very scenic, I had some difficulty getting the right road with some moderate backtracking but overall we made it. I found the exact spot I went camping with the Twins a couple years back, it has direct creek access and is away from the road with lots of possible tent clearings, a big firepit made by someone, and for some reason large boulders in these circular designs.
I brought a boombox and bought batteries, but of course not enough batteries, so I had a lot of quiet nature time to myself, since camping partner slept until 4:30! But one would be surprised about what sort of sounds your mind makes when alone in nature. Crows and trickling water and birds sometimes sounds like children laughing, which is moderately creepy.
It was a lot of fun, of course, despite the night's temperature. A sleeping bag and three blankets apparently weren't enough because it was COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD. Good thing I was twelve levels of intoxicated or else that might've been a much more unpleasant situation. Instead I felt cold but slept right through it.
I'll spare the camping drunk details but we've decided it's our official spot now.
In more good news I'm up in Seattle with Shannon tomorrow. We are on a museum and dinosaur mission. It will be gloriously educational.
I brought a boombox and bought batteries, but of course not enough batteries, so I had a lot of quiet nature time to myself, since camping partner slept until 4:30! But one would be surprised about what sort of sounds your mind makes when alone in nature. Crows and trickling water and birds sometimes sounds like children laughing, which is moderately creepy.
It was a lot of fun, of course, despite the night's temperature. A sleeping bag and three blankets apparently weren't enough because it was COLD COLD COLD COLD COLD. Good thing I was twelve levels of intoxicated or else that might've been a much more unpleasant situation. Instead I felt cold but slept right through it.
I'll spare the camping drunk details but we've decided it's our official spot now.
In more good news I'm up in Seattle with Shannon tomorrow. We are on a museum and dinosaur mission. It will be gloriously educational.
Sunday, September 16, 2007
omg tequila
Many say that witches favor cats because they are the physical portayal of a metaphysical being. Able to go between this world and the next, cats possess a defiance and self-confidence necessary for such spiritual translations. Their eyes glow at night, when caught in certain light, and they are armed with wit, balance, and sharp implements. These very elements are what give them such an otherworldy appearance. Feline grace is woven hand in hand with the supernatural appeal.
And I met two such nice and witchy-looking cats when on a pleasant walk the other night. And very witch-looking houses. I wish I were a witch. And I don't mean in the generic "Harry Potter" sence, nor the haunting Mayfare witches [Anne Rice's the Witching Hour, although I just started reading it and haven't actually reached the part about any witches, but so far the book is slightly haunting with it's hand-oracles and gentlemen ghosts and whatnot]. But rather the "I lead a normal life but with certain enhancements" type of witch. I would make potions and catechize the night skies to help a friend's love-situation or badluck run. I would make soups in the same cauldron I make goodluck guck. On Halloween my house is the most decorated and the pumpkins on my doorstep are magically animated. My favorite shoes are 17th century victorian lace-up boots with a curled toe, but most of my wardrobe is Target haha.
Anyway I digress, I digress.
I thought a main character was going to die, in the last Harry Potter. SPOILERS!! And him dying then coming back doesn't count, but I was very shocked about one of the twin's death. And then the epilogue was a little lame, and there were too many kids and names at once. But overall very enthralling, quick and good read. I'm now onto The Book of Joby I randomly found at Borders and convinced someone to buy. About a bet between Lucifer and God. The language is a little heavy, but I think it's well written so far [isn't that a straight up contradiction?] The main character is a young boy...so that was definitely unexpected.
yum, books
And I met two such nice and witchy-looking cats when on a pleasant walk the other night. And very witch-looking houses. I wish I were a witch. And I don't mean in the generic "Harry Potter" sence, nor the haunting Mayfare witches [Anne Rice's the Witching Hour, although I just started reading it and haven't actually reached the part about any witches, but so far the book is slightly haunting with it's hand-oracles and gentlemen ghosts and whatnot]. But rather the "I lead a normal life but with certain enhancements" type of witch. I would make potions and catechize the night skies to help a friend's love-situation or badluck run. I would make soups in the same cauldron I make goodluck guck. On Halloween my house is the most decorated and the pumpkins on my doorstep are magically animated. My favorite shoes are 17th century victorian lace-up boots with a curled toe, but most of my wardrobe is Target haha.
Anyway I digress, I digress.
I thought a main character was going to die, in the last Harry Potter. SPOILERS!! And him dying then coming back doesn't count, but I was very shocked about one of the twin's death. And then the epilogue was a little lame, and there were too many kids and names at once. But overall very enthralling, quick and good read. I'm now onto The Book of Joby I randomly found at Borders and convinced someone to buy. About a bet between Lucifer and God. The language is a little heavy, but I think it's well written so far [isn't that a straight up contradiction?] The main character is a young boy...so that was definitely unexpected.
yum, books
Thursday, September 13, 2007
apologies
I left in a bit of a hurry last time before I could properly finish my post. And you've probably guessed why I left so abruptly [spaghetti]...but now I have a quiet moment to arrange my thoughts.
I bought koRn tickets today, teehee, the show will be both awesome and hilarious at the same time. As much as I absolutely love rock, the NU metal bands still make me laugh. It'll be on the 28th of October and I've heard rumours that many of the attendees will be dressed up for halloween. As insecure with myself as I am, this oppurtunity to be in full-fledge costume during a public event [and not specifically on Halloween the day] cannot be passed up. I'm thinking....'50s housewife zombie? Any objections? I hope the group I'm going with will also dress up. And then, just five days later, I've got another show, STATIC-X!! Hopefully tickets won't be so insanely expensive [korn and friends was $45 not including tax for floor at the rosegarden]. And there will be lots of dancing, since X has influences of industrial.
Which reminds me I must retell my first Combichrist show! Basically lots of intruiging goth/industrial/weirdo people in a small area, all dancing to the rhythmic tunes of Netherlands band Combichrist. They played a really good set, but only played one more song after the encore. I think...I can't remember because it's already been a while back. I should've bought a t-shirt but oh well.
I've got a bit of a weekend planned. I haven't been to work this week, since my intense and hard working dedication is payed off with two weeks unemployment. What a rage that set me in! I immediately texted my love [Jenna] and retreated to, as I refer it "the Safehouse" for some avatar R&R and whatnot. She always puts me in a good mood =)! Anyway I went in for my check today and was hit with questions such as "oh wow I thought you were layed off and I was totally pissed!"
Yeah, that was definitely shocking. Good thing one of the "boss-men" was there and he said they will need me on Saturday. So I get at least one day of pay. And it's a banquet event so the gratuity will be automatic[ly set]. Friday, love comes over for Vancouver adventures, and maybe saturday night I'll go out to Bryan and Erin's apartment with Tony. Sunday...oh the ball is up my friends.
I bought koRn tickets today, teehee, the show will be both awesome and hilarious at the same time. As much as I absolutely love rock, the NU metal bands still make me laugh. It'll be on the 28th of October and I've heard rumours that many of the attendees will be dressed up for halloween. As insecure with myself as I am, this oppurtunity to be in full-fledge costume during a public event [and not specifically on Halloween the day] cannot be passed up. I'm thinking....'50s housewife zombie? Any objections? I hope the group I'm going with will also dress up. And then, just five days later, I've got another show, STATIC-X!! Hopefully tickets won't be so insanely expensive [korn and friends was $45 not including tax for floor at the rosegarden]. And there will be lots of dancing, since X has influences of industrial.
Which reminds me I must retell my first Combichrist show! Basically lots of intruiging goth/industrial/weirdo people in a small area, all dancing to the rhythmic tunes of Netherlands band Combichrist. They played a really good set, but only played one more song after the encore. I think...I can't remember because it's already been a while back. I should've bought a t-shirt but oh well.
I've got a bit of a weekend planned. I haven't been to work this week, since my intense and hard working dedication is payed off with two weeks unemployment. What a rage that set me in! I immediately texted my love [Jenna] and retreated to, as I refer it "the Safehouse" for some avatar R&R and whatnot. She always puts me in a good mood =)! Anyway I went in for my check today and was hit with questions such as "oh wow I thought you were layed off and I was totally pissed!"
Yeah, that was definitely shocking. Good thing one of the "boss-men" was there and he said they will need me on Saturday. So I get at least one day of pay. And it's a banquet event so the gratuity will be automatic[ly set]. Friday, love comes over for Vancouver adventures, and maybe saturday night I'll go out to Bryan and Erin's apartment with Tony. Sunday...oh the ball is up my friends.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
introduction to the 12 steps
Hello. I think I'll start this off with a proper introduction.
My name is Patricia B. I decided to start this blog from an impulse of sitting in my friend Jenna's kitchen, awaiting the delicious spaghetti that she's cooking, and her talking of her renewed blogging dedication. So you see, this isn't my first. Probably won't be my last. But I'll try to make it as interesting as possible.
The term "rubicon" doesn't mean the awesome Jeep automobile, but instead:
Ru·bi·con
(rōō'bĭ-kŏn') Pronunciation Key
n. A limit that when passed or exceeded permits of no return and typically results in irrevocable commitment.
So you see, I am making a comparison between my own life, and the noun rubicon. There aren't necessarily any steps, but rather, these blogs that will lead you beyond the point of return, and into the mundane life of me.
dinner time...
My name is Patricia B. I decided to start this blog from an impulse of sitting in my friend Jenna's kitchen, awaiting the delicious spaghetti that she's cooking, and her talking of her renewed blogging dedication. So you see, this isn't my first. Probably won't be my last. But I'll try to make it as interesting as possible.
The term "rubicon" doesn't mean the awesome Jeep automobile, but instead:
Ru·bi·con
(rōō'bĭ-kŏn') Pronunciation Key n. A limit that when passed or exceeded permits of no return and typically results in irrevocable commitment.
So you see, I am making a comparison between my own life, and the noun rubicon. There aren't necessarily any steps, but rather, these blogs that will lead you beyond the point of return, and into the mundane life of me.
dinner time...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
